sometimes i wish i could just let all my tears out at one time . you know how they say you can pay in a big lump some of cash ? i just wanna let out a big lump some of sadness . it's like .. why is it always ME ? why do people hate for the silliest things ? why do people talk about me behind my back & pretend to be my friend , & act like they've done nothing wrong . I AM SUCH A NICE PERSON ! like what the hell yo ! i've never seen people be so quick to judge someone so fast in my life , & dare to call themselves perfect & saints . why don't i feel pretty ? why do i feel that i'm fat , & i'm this and i'm that . i am getting so mad over here right now , because i really don't get it . i wish i could be cocky & not care what everyone else thinks . i wish i could be a biotch & hurt people's feelings the way they've hurt mine . i wish i could just tell people about themselves & just go off , and have no sympathy on how they feel afterwards ... but i can't ! v_v . it's just not Laniisha , it's not ME . people always tell me that i should be the bigger person , but for me being the BIGGER person , i always get stopped on like i'm a midget . i pretend to not be scared of things , because that's the way i've been my whole life . afraid to grow up , afraid to get hurt .. afraid to be myself because everybody always hated me for some strange reason that i can't figure out to save my soul ! i've tried to be a person i didn't wanna be , & that really messed up my life . tears * but i guess this is the way my life is suppose to be . maybe it's karma , coming back around hitting me with a big bang . maybe God is trying to figure out if i can take the critism , the rumors & the backstabbers . but i really wish it could all just end .